8/22/2024: Venus Square Mars

Today, we’re going to explore something that many of us may have experienced in our recovery journeys—an inner conflict between love and action, between wanting to connect and needing to stand firm in our boundaries. This tension is reflected in the astrological aspect of Venus square Mars, which we’ll be using as a framework to guide us today.

Even if you’re not familiar with astrology, think of Venus as the part of you that seeks peace, connection, and harmony—whether with yourself, with others, or in your environment. Venus embodies love, beauty, and the desire to nurture. On the other hand, Mars represents action, assertiveness, and even aggression. Mars is the energy that drives us forward, helps us fight for what we need, and pushes us to take action, even when it’s uncomfortable.

When these two forces come into tension, like they do in the Venus square Mars aspect, it can create a sense of inner conflict. You might feel like you’re being pulled in different directions—part of you wants to be soft, loving, and nurturing, while another part of you is pushing to assert yourself, to act, to stand up for your needs. This tension is something many of us can relate to, especially in recovery, where we often have to navigate complex emotions, rebuild relationships, and re-establish our sense of self.

Think about times in your own life where you’ve felt this tension. Maybe you wanted to reach out and connect with someone, but fear or anger got in the way. Or perhaps you’ve had moments where you’ve stood up for yourself, only to later feel conflicted because it disrupted the peace you were seeking. These are all examples of Venus and Mars at play—two powerful energies that, when in conflict, challenge us to find balance.

But this tension isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it can be a source of deep learning and growth. Venus square Mars asks us to confront our own dualities—to ask ourselves how we can be both loving and assertive, how we can maintain boundaries while also remaining open to connection. These are not easy questions, and there’s no simple answer. But the beauty of recovery is that it offers us the opportunity to explore these questions in a supportive, compassionate environment.

Today, we’ll be reflecting on this tension and how it shows up in our own lives. We’ll talk about how we can honor both the Venus and Mars within us—how we can cultivate love, peace, and connection without losing our ability to stand firm, assert our needs, and take action when necessary. It’s about finding a balance that allows us to be whole, to embrace all parts of ourselves, and to move forward in our recovery with a deeper sense of harmony and purpose.

As we go through today’s gathering, I encourage you to think about the places in your life where Venus and Mars might be in conflict. Where do you feel torn between connection and assertiveness? How do you navigate those moments when your heart wants to reach out, but your instincts are telling you to protect yourself? And most importantly, how can we find ways to integrate both of these energies so that they work together, rather than against each other?

I’d like to share a personal story about how this tension between love and action has shown up in my own life. For me, the conflict between Venus and Mars—between connection and assertiveness—has been a real challenge.

There was a time when I found myself struggling to balance my desire for peace and connection with others, while also needing to stand up for myself and assert my boundaries. I remember a specific situation with a close friend, where I wanted to reach out and maintain the harmony between us, but there was also a part of me that felt the need to protect myself. I didn’t want to lose the relationship, but I also didn’t want to keep compromising my own needs and well-being.

I felt this inner tug-of-war—Venus was telling me to soften, to reach out with love, to avoid conflict, while Mars was pushing me to be assertive, to stand up for what I needed, and to express my anger or frustration. In that moment, I realized that the key wasn’t about choosing one over the other, but about finding a way to integrate both.

I took a step back and reflected on how I could approach the situation with both love and strength. It wasn’t easy, but I knew that in order to move forward, I had to honor both parts of myself—the part that wanted connection and the part that needed to set boundaries. When I finally did speak up, I tried to do so with compassion, explaining my needs while still being open to understanding the other person’s perspective, too. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start—a way to allow both Venus and Mars to coexist.

What I’ve learned through this experience is that the tension between love and assertiveness isn’t something we need to fear or avoid. It’s actually an opportunity for growth. Each time we navigate that tension, we become stronger and more balanced, not just in our relationships with others, but in our relationship with ourselves.

I wanted to share this story because I know that many of us have been in similar situations, where we feel torn between protecting ourselves and maintaining connections with others. It’s a delicate balance, but it’s one that we can learn to master with time, patience, and self-compassion.