Girl, Get Yourself an Older Woman

I’ve always gravitated toward women at least a decade ahead of me in life. Hell, even my fiancé is 11 years older—guess I just can’t resist all that extra wisdom. Y’all have something the rest of us are still trying to figure out. For real, you’ve got game. If you don’t have an older lady friend in your life, you're missing out, and you need to fix that ASAP. I’m so lucky to have a whole squad of these incredible women guiding me right now. Not only can they talk you off a ledge like it’s their superpower, but they’ve got life figured out in ways you haven’t even thought of yet. Want someone who’s got the playbook for surviving anything? Get yourself an older woman, stat.

Older women don’t just bring advice—they bring *experience*. They’ve been through the heartbreak, the career changes, the health scares, the life pivots that we’re all scared of, and they’ve come out the other side wiser, funnier, and a little less likely to take any bullshit. They don’t sugarcoat things, and they’ve already done the trial and error. They know what works, what doesn’t, and, more importantly, how to get through it all without losing your sanity.

So, let me give an ode to some of the older ladies in my life because, trust me, their value is priceless.

First up, Hot Babe. We just get each other, you feel me? We’re both independent AF, stubborn as hell, and her North Node is in Aries—so obviously, her life’s mission is to save this Aries (me) from self-destruction on the regular. And we vibe hard because we have the same inappropriate, wildly naughty sense of humor. We can laugh about things that would probably get us side-eyed in public, but that’s part of the magic. When I’m spiraling, she’s the one who snaps me back with that straight-shooter vibe, “Girl, you’re fine. Stop overthinking. You’ve got this.” And she’s always right. She’s been through the same crap I have, so we can laugh and commiserate about life, money, and the messes we’ve found ourselves in. Honestly, it’s nice having someone who’s walked that path and can still find the humor in it all.

Then there’s Bonnie. She is a fiery force to be reckoned with, no lie. Her Aries + My Aries = a powerhouse duo, y’all. She’s my prison buddy—not in the way you think, but also *kind of* in the way you think? She used to be a CO (corrections officer), but life happened, and now she’s on the other side of the system, advocating for prison reform. She’s got this unbreakable spirit, even when life’s throwing the hardest curveballs. She’s shown me what real strength looks like. When Older women just *know* how to deal with life’s shitstorms, and they teach you how to roll with it too. 

Bonnie’s strength and resilience remind me of another incredible woman in my life, Neurospice. While Bonnie teaches me how to face life's toughest challenges head-on, Neurospice pushes me in a different way—by nudging me out of my comfort zone. First off, she taught me how to crockpot sautéed onions (life-changing, btw), but more importantly, she’s encouraged me to take on new challenges. We started SHE RECOVERS Lancaster together, and guess what? Twelve amazing women showed up to our first meeting. She’s the one nudging me to do the things I’m too scared to try, and honestly, that’s the magic of having an older woman in your corner—they push you in ways that your peers just can’t.

Just like Neurospice nudges me to push my boundaries, Canvas Queen brings a different kind of energy—one that's all about creativity and healing. She’s new to town but already radiates a vibe that draws me in. Her ginormous studio in York City is filled with art supplies and good vibes, and I swear, older women have this way of creating spaces where you can actually heal and grow. They’ve been there, they’ve done the work, and they help you see that you can get through your own stuff, too. It’s inspiring as hell. Really. I have a feeling her and I are going to team up to do some pretty neat stuff in the perhaps not-so-distant future.

And finally, Nana—what can I even say? She’s the ultimate boss, out here living her best life at what I jokingly call the Bachelor Mansion for the Elderly. She’s winning Bingo like it’s a full-time gig and saving all her dollars for the auction at the end of the month. But honestly, what she’s done for me? You can’t put a price on that. The way she’s helped me heal is something I’ll carry with me forever. Women like her, they teach you how to live with purpose, with joy, and maybe a little bit of sass, too. Nana’s out here proving every day that age is just a number when you’re too busy dominating at life. She’s the kind of woman who makes you realize how important it is to soak up every moment and live fully—no matter what stage of life you’re in. I’m lucky to have her as my guide, my hero, and my biggest inspiration.

So, why should you get yourself an older woman? Here’s the breakdown:

• They’ve been through it all, and they’ve got the wisdom to show for it. 
• They cut through the drama and help you see what’s important. 
• They push you out of your comfort zone but hold space for your growth.
• They’ll tell you the truth, even when it stings, but also give you the love and reassurance you need.
• They bring a whole new level of calm to the chaos.

If you don’t have an older woman in your life yet, find one. Hit up that woman you’ve always admired, or ask your Nana for her best life advice. Trust me—you need that kind of energy in your corner. You’ll thank me later.